I am cranky!

I just had a really great weekend which of course must be followed up by a singularly irritating Monday morning.

Friday night Tater and I drove 6 hours north to our nation's capitol, where my Mom is doing some kind of convention / teaching / grant reviewing thing. I'm fuzzy on the details, but I do know that if your mom is anywhere within 12 hours of you and you haven't seen her for 7 months and you have any kind of relationship with her at all, you should probably go see her. So we did, and had a pretty great time in the 14 hours we were there - we saw the White House, the Washington Monument, and a tiny little corner of the Smithsonian.

Sunday we drove around some more and hung out with friends at a friend of a friend's mansion. At first I was completely awe-struck my the sheer magnitude of the house, but then the anal-retentive practical part of my brain kicked in and I decided that I really wouldn't enjoy living in a huge house - but, visiting one sure is fun.

So basically, my weekend pretty much reached the maximum capacity of driving and having fun - victory!

This morning I noticed that the company that I have my old retirement fund with sent me a letter on Saturday - what could it be? Turns out that the forms I sent them almost 3 weeks ago weren't form-y enough or something and they couldn't process my request to send me money. Money that I need... TODAY. I called them up, spent 10 minutes trying to reach a human being (which is normally something I'm quite adept at - but their phone tree was extra specially guarded against human interaction) only to find out that the letter was sent in error. Thank goodness! However, they still hadn't processed my request: in fact, I can just forget about seeing that money until at least Friday. Why? Because apparently "7-10 business days" translates to "12-14 business days plus some more just because" if you're a large financial institution. JOY! Hopefully, it really does come on Friday and I can move in to my new place this weekend.

I really wish I had some tea.

I. Love. Tazo "passion" flavor iced tea from Starbucks.

I'm serious, I can't get enough of it. It is pink and fruity and delicious. If you get it unsweetened I think it has very few, or possibly no calories. I don't know, does tea have calories? I don't think so.

Well, technically it's a "tisane", as a co worker once pointed out to me.

I'm going to look it up.

Alright, I looked it up. NO calories. You can get a big venti one and not feel guilty about it. I should probably buy a box of it and make a big pitcher.

I'm serious, go try it. It's a summertime treat.

Rachel Interviews Pete

Pete interviewed me, so it's only fair that I return the favor! Following please find the most fascinating interview ever conducted:

Why hello there. What's your name?

Pete.

Hi Pete! I'm interviewing you because you're in an amazing band. Please tell me about your band.

Yes, I'm in a band called Peroxide Mocha. We are amazing, but the rest of the world doesn't quite know it yet.

I'm sure they'll figure it out someday.
If you were on tour, who would be your opening act?

I think maybe some kind of German techno group that does Kraftwerk-style covers of Carpenters songs, but with robot voices.

Excellent answer! Speaking of robots, what's your favorite food?

I like Thai food, mostly dishes that have unfortunate names like "Pad See Ew" "Pad Prik King" or "Chan Pad Poo."

Other cultures are often quite the comedy goldmine, aren't they?
What is your favorite phrase?

I really like it when sombody says "I'll bet you donuts to dollars" - where does that even come from? I like donuts though.

Oh, me too - but not quite as much as dollars, to be honest.
If you were to pay someone to do something you could easily do yourself, what would it be and why?

I really, really hate cleaning the bathroom. It's not that it's difficult, it's just gross and I'm lazy and it usually slips pretty far down the priority list. When I'm rich and famous I will hire a "bathroom consultant" (that exists right?) to come clean and organize my bathroom once a week and make sure it is well stocked with toiletries, color coordinated towels, soap, etc and always smelled nice. Like gingerbread or something.

That sounds really great! You're going to be really good at being rich and famous.
If you could only smell 5 smells for the rest of your life, what would they be?

In no particular order: Toast, Cinnamon, Coffee, Melon, Cucumber. Thanks, now I'm hungry

You're welcome, and thank YOU for this awesome interview. Let's go get something to eat!

You're quite welcome. Any Time.

Pete Interviews Rachel

I decided it might be a good idea for me to interview Rachel. You know, so you could get to know her a little better.

Pete: Hi Rachel! Thanks for agreeing to do this interview for our blog. So, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

Rachel: I had some delicious "Tastee Ohs" for breakfast this morning, which are in no way, shape, or form to be confused with the famous General Mill's brand breakfast cereal, "Cheerios."

Were they delicious? Did you eat the recommended serving size? Where did you purchase said "Tastee Ohs"?

Yes, they were very delicious and satisfying because I ate an amount that was probably two or three times the recommended serving size. Have you ever measured an exact serving size of cereal before? It's insanely small.

I believe that Tastee Ohs can be found at your friendly local Dollar General in the breakfast foods aisle.

What other fabulous treasures can you find at the Dollar General?

Besides amazing bargains on whole grains? Well, let's see... I'm pretty sure you can also buy roach bait and beautiful garden "decorations" at the Dollar General. I hear some people also buy things like toilet paper and shampoo there.

Wow, it sounds like they have some great savings. I'm sitting at the back of a bus going to work right now, and there's a man twitching and glaring at me. He appears to have a bike chain wrapped around his pant leg. I can see his underwear. What do think about that?

Are you sure he's glaring at you? What if he's just glaring at the space around you?

He's definitely glaring at me. He snarled, just now. How does that make you feel?

He snarled at you? That is bizarre. I don't know how I feel about that.
Akward, I suppose.

Tell me a funny story about something that happened last week. Keep it brief, please.

Last week someone broke into my camper and slept in it. I knew because they put all the blankets on the counter and tracked grass clippings all over the place. They didn't steal anything.

Was there anything in there worth stealing?

My hello kitty phone and sandwich maker

Let's say you're having a party this weekend. All of your co-workers are coming over. What would be the 3 worst choices of board game to play at said party?

Does Twister count as a board game? That's a game I absolutely would not want to play with my co-workers. As for standard board games, I think the worst choices would be Charades, Parcheesi, and this Garfield board game that I loved when I was a kid, but probably isn't the best now that I'm all grown up.

Isn't that always the way it works though? You enjoy something as a kid, and then as an adult you see it again and you think "wow, this is really lame. I really thought I was smarter than that as a child." But you weren't. Nobody was. What else did you enjoy as a youth that you now think is ridiculous and stupid as a grown-up?

When I was in 4th grade, I read way too many "Sweet Valley High" books and decided that if I was going to be cool at all in middle school I was going to have to start my own club. So I made baseball-style cards with cardboard and pictures I cut out of a Horse Fancy magazine and started my own horse club. I really don't know what the cards had to do with anything, or why I picked horses to be the central theme of my oh-so-exclusive club. I think 3 or 4 of my friends joined, though.

I also used to play my own version of MASH, but instead of using it as a magical charm to figure out who I was going to marry and what kind of car we'd drive, I put numbers, colors, and body parts on the board. So I'd get results like "You're going to live in a Hut and have 4 blue arms!"

Magical. If there was a Peroxide Mocha Saturday morning cartoon, what would the plot be?

I imagine it would probably star Pete and Rachel and their magical recording studio. An evil villain would always be trying to sneak in and steal their records, but would be foiled at the last minute by Pete & Rachel's wacky antics.

What's the evil villain's name?

I'm trying to think of something really clever, but nothing's happening. Perhaps he'd be a Nameless Villain, referred to only as "The Mean Guy."

What advice do you have for aspiring young musicians who look up to you and want to be like Peroxide Mocha?

Never try to be anything that you're not. Be kind to people. You don't have to be cool.

Another True Story

AS I TYPE, my boyfriend is driving in a truck cross-country with his cousin Andy. A while ago, I asked how he and Andy are related, since I know they're not really first cousins, but are indeed kin of some kind.

He was unable to answer this question, and was only able to offer as evidence: "We grew up across the street from each other and have the same last name. He's my cousin."

This is North Carolina, my friends.

A True Story

So last night around 11:00 pm I was rudely awoken because Granny was screaming "Rachel! RACHEL! RACHEL!"
I of course assumed she was dying, bleeding, barfing, or whatever and leapt out of bed and went running to her, prepared to call 911. She was all thin and gasping and generally looking pretty pitiful, and she said to me...

"I want a cup of coffee and a peanut butter sandwich."

Holy Crap, I moved a whole bunch

Did I tell you guys I moved? No?
Well, I moved, and so did Pete. He's now back in Portland, and I'm in North Carolina.

Other than the fact that I'm ONCE AGAIN 3,500 miles away from my BFF, life is pretty good out here. There's lots of delicious meats to eat and everyone is always frying stuff that normally just gets steamed or even left raw. If you are a vegetarian, I don't recommend living anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon: there's pig meat in absolutely everything here. I'm not even kidding.

But for seriously-reals, things are good. I'm working at a newspaper, just like a modern-day Lois Lane, but with more spreadsheets and less falling into giant pits or being captured by villains. Can't complain, really.

Speaking of how amazingly great everything in the whole world is, Pete and I are committing ourselves to be more dilligent in updating this blog and maybe even making some new friends.

STAY TUNED!